Fading Memories

 

Our recollection of certain dreams will begin to fade as we wake up, and so do some of our memories in time. Here is a compilation of such memories of a person, before it completely fades from my mind.  

Prologue

Bengaluru, Madiwala, present day, 2022.

“Hey, 6 o’clock,” he said while holding the hot cup of tea, during our daily evening tea break at the usual bakery at the junction with the view of all four roads. Even before I turned back I knew what it’ll be, and there it was, a pretty lady passing by. After gazing at her as she passed by, I turned and nodded back at him in acknowledgment and sipped my tea. I know him for more than one and half decades, almost more than half of my whole lifetime. And I still remember the first girl that he pointed out, a decade ago and she laid a whole new track in my life. 

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Amrita vidyalayam, 2010.

We were standing on the first floor at the veranda during an interval break while chatting he pointed his eyes at a junior girl passing by, someone I never noticed before. I asked him who she was, and he said “You really don’t know her? That’s Ganga, the singer; she’s in the prayer group and all. Also, we are in the same school van.” I looked back at her, although she would be on the stage every morning almost all of the school day, I didn’t recognize her until today. I kept looking back at her as she walked away in the crowd of children during the interval commotion. After that day I never lost sight of her in any crowd, she was the only one I saw everywhere. I paid more attention to the prayers, looking devotedly at her in admiration. I didn’t really know what was going on, too immature to understand the concept of love. All I knew was that looking at her made me at peace. That was the same year I got pc and internet connection at home. At that time Orkut was the one connecting people & popular among the youths. From the intel I acquired, I got to know that she rejected the friend requests of strangers. Of course that wasn’t going to stop me from sending her request. I sent her a request and in a few moments I received notification that my request has been accepted. Without wasting any time I send her hi, which indeed took a lot of courage. She replied “Hello”. I asked her if she know me. She said, “Yeah I do, you are in Xth rt. And do you know me?”. I texted “Of course, you’re famous darling.” I still don’t know what the hell I was thinking while I send that. Her reply came “Darling?”. And that is how our first conversation started.

 

A couple of weeks later.

I was walking through the veranda during a break and heard somebody calling out my name. I knew that voice. “Yeswanth Etta.., Hello!!!” I looked up from the ground floor and I found her on the first floor on the perpendicular side of the school waving and smiling at me. I was dumbstruck and waved back at her & said hi. She said, “You said I never talk to you from school right”. we both smiled at each other and went back to our classes.

On other days I’ll be receiving a "hi" out of nowhere with a slap on my back. Sometimes she use to give me chocolates. And on my birthdays I always had a dairy milk bought especially for her, but I never had to go and find her as she would always come to me and demand her treat.

Right before the noon and evening prayers, I had the routine to go out of class to drink water from the water filter, even if I had the water in my bottle, just so that I’ll have to pass the mike-point and then I could meet her, who is getting ready to sing the prayer.

With gods grace, we were always in the same school group, which I never used to care about but now I never missed any chance to get her attention or to be with her in the group activities. I chose to volunteer for the notice board duty just coz she volunteered too. The same goes for the collage-making competition that I participated in.

An introvert who used to stay away from school functions, which were like public holidays to me unless attendance was compulsory. But now I attended those programs just to watch her programs. Even if I am assigned any duty, I would leave it all at the moment her name was announced on stage.

School camp, 2011.

During school camp, we had an activity to adopt a plant from the school garden, name it, and take care of it. I chose one and was trying to find a suitable name for it, along with our biology teacher. Ma’am did suggest a couple of names but I rejected it all saying it was old fashioned. And then she walked up to us, we all talked for a while & she left wishing me luck in finding a good name. then I looked at Ma'am and told her I found the perfect name ‘Ganga’. Ma’am looked at me with a smirk and told me to carry on. Then I went to the school store & told them that needed something to decorate the name while I labeled it. Premeella Aunty found a bouquet cover and gave it to me, another teacher in there helped me with pasting the name inside the bouquet cover. I fixed it on the plant with a rubber band and left for the session I had to attend in the library. After the class I got out of the library, from the second floor I looked down at my plant in the garden; the name tag was missing. I rushed towards it, and when I finally reached there I saw her holding the name tag and trying to fix it back on the plant. She said “I found it on the ground” and gave it back to me. With a smile, she said “Nice name”.

And there was a plant that she adopted which she used to water every evening after school. Someday I would wait at a distance just to see her reaction when she sees it already watered by someone. I think she never knew who did it.

One day before, School exhibition,2012.

Everybody was busy with the assigned duties and setting the stalls. The 12^th science and science club were sharing the same classroom. While I was busy setting up our Farmville model, she walked into the class towards the science club head teacher and told her she need assistance in typing and printing the labels for the exhibits, the teacher told her that everyone in there was already tied up with work, look for someone whose free. The Farmville project was very important to me & I dropped it right then and there, walked up to her, and said I was absolutely free. The teacher told me “Good, go and help her then” and went back to her busy work. We both walked out together and towards the computer lab, only to find it locked and we couldn’t find the keys. But I didn’t give up, I couldn’t give up. I went to the IP teacher and told her the situation we were in and she gave me the IP labs keys. When we went inside the lab, it was just two of us, all alone. I had never been with her like this, when ever we met there will be students all around us, but not today, not this moment. She read out the labels and I typed it, I never typed this slowly in my entire life.  While formatting the labels we had little conversations. She told me she was a bit tensed to come up to me after the sports day incident and issues with juniors and that around the same time, I changed my profile picture on Facebook to a No Girls icon. I briefly explained to her what had really happened and our conversation went on. And then the angel who lit the path towards her came knocking at the doors like a devil. My best friend was at the door, he said: “Where the hell did you suddenly disappear into, I was looking all around for you”. I signaled him to get the hell out of here behind her back but my dear friend kept walking towards us like an idiot. She stood up and asked if I could finish it and let her know. I said, “Of course, I’ll complete it and get back to you”. As she walked away from me, I wanted to beat the hell out of him but I was too excited and thrilled about the fact that I was able to spend that much time with her.

Day of exhibition, 2012.

I kept a book for the feedback of visitors. she too came to view our Farmville and wrote her feedback and signed. Once she left I took the book and marked her sign important. Indeed it was the only one that mattered to me.  Later that evening after the program, while we were about to leave school I met her at the school entrance and while we were talking she asked me if  I had the book of feedback & if she could read the comments. I handed it to her with pride as we received some very good reviews. Then when she came across her sign, she looked at me suspiciously and told “Look someone marked my feedback as important. I just grinned at her.

College Days ( 2013)

I was at some boring seminar, I should have fallen asleep a long ago, but I wasn’t. I was listening very attentively, just not at the lecture on stage but the narration going on from my phone through the Nimbuzz app. She had just finished reading the book ‘3 Mistakes of My Life’ by Chethan and was summarizing and narrating the story to me, while we were thousands of miles away, mountains and oceans apart. And I continued to listen to her attentively.

 ~~~~~~~

To be continued  

 Writer - Dr. Yeswanth S Nambiar 

 

Few Inches

 

Being a seeker for true love I had already fallen in love a few times, I did confess my feeling to some, and some reciprocated to it eventually, although nothing lasted long. Albeit, no one ever proposed to me without me taking any initiation until I met Sid. We found each other through Facebook, and over a few years we moved from being strangers to close friends & one day she casually proposed I marry her.

So the only girl to ever propose to me was Sid. She reminded me of Riya Somani from Half Girlfriend; a tall beautiful basketball player & her eyes were out of this world, she would be the one I would consider out of my league yet one of the nicest people I ever met. This should have been considered a lucky draw for me but fate had other plans, I was put in a position to reject the only proposal I ever got in my life from a person I really admired. Even our personalities were in the perfect sink. But fate, that’s how unpredictable it is. It didn’t bring unavoidable odds or troubles nor oppositions, everything was perfect except it divided us by a few inches. She was almost 10 cm taller than me, which she didn’t mind but I did, She even said it's not a wrestling match or athletic competition, it's just marriage and height is just a number, but my ego couldn’t let that slide. Thus two people who seemed perfect for each other were deemed imperfect cause of a few inches. Anyway, I am sure I’ll never forget her, she’ll always be remembered as the only girl to ever propose to me. 

THE END

Writer - Dr. Yeswanth S Nambiar 

"Tale of One True Love" CHAPTER - 2

LOVE LETTER 

In a storm, we met like destined raindrops

To take a journey hand in hand with oceanic life.

 

As little birds take the leap to learn the art of flight.

I leaped and fell for her to learn the art of loving.

 

In just a couple of days, our hearts wandered miles.

In a lifetime we shall trek the infinity and beyond.

 

Like a newborn's first breath of life.

My love, I long for our first kiss.

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The strong wind that rode the life hard,

Now a breeze that soothes her evening walks.

 

Fiery flame of ambitions he held once.

Now to hold her hand is his heart's only wish.

 

A shining star who shares his light with others.

Now wants to be a candlelight to light her nights.

 

Once a raging river that never ceased

Now a brook that reflects her beauty.

 

Stood tall and unmoved as a mountain.

Now a sand dune who saves marks from her every touch.

 

Led a life as free as air in the sky.

Now yearn to be the breaths she takes.

Confident and cold at heart they said.

He melted like an ice cube at her touch.

 

Once created love at the tip of the pen.

Now no pen can ever pen what's felt.

TO BE CONTINUED

Writer - Dr. Yeswanth S Nambiar  

“Tale of One True Love” CHAPTER-1

 

The Intertwined Fates

  "History is not always about the past but how the present projects its shadow. "

#Boy

On a vacation day, we were returning from a funeral back to my sister’s place. To be frank it would have been too boring if I hadn’t taken a book along with me. On the way, my sister made new plans to make a stop at a family friend's home. After half an hour we were at the gates of their home. I opened the doors & got off the car. I saw a girl at the front door, I have never met her but my sister recognized her. The girl ran back inside calling her mom.

 

#Girl

On that weekend I came home from the hostel. If it wasn’t for the music playlist on my phone I would have been bored to death. Dad called to inform us that some guests will be coming home. Half an hour later a car stopped at our gates. I went out of the front door. I saw a boy getting out of the car though I never met him, I recognized his sister. I ran back inside calling my mother.

 

 

#Boy

As we went into the house in the drawing room I met her again, my first eye contact with her, those were not the eyes of a stranger, It felt so familiar, I think my heart skipped a beat. Later I ended up sitting on the wrong side from where I couldn’t get a clear view of her. She was slim and cute but looked a bit tall. I stood up and asked where the bathroom and she came forward to show me the way. Just when I passed by her side I checked our heights, we were similar or am bit taller. When we bid farewell and walked out I knew this wasn’t an end but a new beginning.

 

#Girl

As they came inside towards the drawing room I met him again, my first eye contact with him, for some strange reason I felt familiarity in those eyes, and I felt butterflies in my gut. He sat at the other side of the room and I couldn’t even have a good look at him. He looked a bit thin but cute, maybe a little short. When he enquired about the bathroom I eagerly went forward to show the way. While I was behind him after he passed by me, I checked his height, it kinda looked the same or maybe taller than me. After some time they left, the irony was that he walked away from me yet I felt him getting closer.

 

 

#Boy

The funny thing was that I never got her name. So I had to check the profiles of her parents on Facebook. Finally, when I found her profile, I was dumbstruck seeing her name, It was the same as my crush from school, the first girl ever to colonize my heart. I knew in mind that this will surely complicate things but my heart kept beating faster in confidence like it didn’t want me to give up so soon. Anyway her name had nothing to do with what I felt for her. And I continued to follow her, joined the smule app just to listen to her songs. I listened to her silently from far away.

 

 #Girl

Actually, I never got to know what his name was, but I was lucky that his sister was my FB friend. I found his profile and link to his blog. I didn’t know he was a writer & I curiously went through his posts. Then I fell dumbstruck while reading one of the posts. It was about his crush from school days and we shared the same name. My heart felt heavy after knowing someone had already gotten to his heart first. But my mind was curious to complete the story I was reading. I was glad to know that it was just a one-sided crush. And I continued to follow his blog while I read his penned thoughts sincerely from a distant land.

 

 

#Boy

A couple of years later I texted her on Christmas Eve. I told her that I would like to marry her. Am

sure she would have expected it out of the blue. But what I didn’t expect was her question that was this proposal coz of my love for her name. I told her there were times that I wished that she had a different name & that I liked her even before I knew her name. I was sure that her response won’t be a yes on the spot, coz unlike me who have been following her for years, to her I was still mostly a stranger. She told me she needs time to think, and that it’ll be better to get to know each other a bit before deciding anything. And in the hope of a positive response, I waited.

 

#Girl

We rarely ever texted, around 2 years later after our first meeting I received a text from him on Christmas Eve. Although I always wanted to confess my feelings to him, I never expected a proposal from his side, maybe it was my name that he liked. And I asked him if it was so. He told that he wished I had a different name and that he had feelings for me even before he knew my name. Of course, I like him too and I wanted to tell ‘yes’ on the spot but that would make me look desperate since he probably think that he was like a stranger to me & he is clueless that I was stalking him since the day I met him. So I told him I need time to think & to get to know each other before making any decision. I hoped his decision won’t change after getting to personally know me & I waited.

 

 

"The cold winter breeze woke him up from his dream; It was so real that he couldn’t believe that it was all just a dream. Now he was back in his familiar room illuminated in the moonlight and showered from the window in the midst of midnight. He felt a warm hand over his chest that held him close. In a cute sleepy voice, she asked him if he was awake. He turned to her side & said he had a dream and just woke up. She said she had one too & it was about our…; before she could finish he sealed her lips with ripples of his lips, he held her hands and their fingers intertwined, and in the moonlit moment, like twin stars in the dark sky the rings in their fingers glittered."

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED

Writer - Dr. Yeswanth S Nambiar  

 

 

"My Love Story - The Conclusion"

 

After 5 long years in medical school, I came out to the world hoping to take on the world, save everyone, to live the dream, and then “the internship” began. God, I never knew being a doctor could be this hard.  

On the brighter side, I completed the book I have been working on since my college days. It was tough but with the help of a few friends I was able to publish it. Being a new author it took me some months to get readers' attention but with the great Lord's grace, it ended up among the best sellers of that year. It was ironic that the book about my unsuccessful love turned out to be quite successful “My Love Story”, the story of my crush.

It's been more than a year since the book was published. I just reached my room after my double shift. I was lying on my bed, took my phone and there were a few text messages, missed calls, and some emails. I was too tired even to check them, so it beeped again when I was about to keep my phone away. There was a new mail. As I read the notification my heart started beating faster, I could never forget that mail ID. It was inscribed in my heart and it said: “I lost your number, need to contact you”.

I didn’t know what I was feeling - happy, thrilled, or shocked. Mostly I was afraid as I thought I was in for some trouble. I replied, “Hi, how are you? 98XXXXXX82, that's my no. Any trouble?”

In a few minutes, my phone beeped again.

She -“ I didn’t expect a reply this soon. I'm having an exam tomorrow. I’ll call you after the exam. Sorry that I disturbed you at this late hour”

Me- “I think I have disturbed you a lot earlier and  it's my pleasure to be disturbed by you at least once :-)”

She- “You were never a disturbance to me. Good night  :)”

Me- “Good night”

Two weeks later

Sitting across the table she was sipping her hot chocolate. A few strands of hair that escaped her messy bun strayed across her cheeks. She caught me gazing at her. 

She- “ The kitty doesn’t like to be stared at.”

Me- “Wow, you are quoting lines from my book. Anyway, am glad you read it. Hope you liked it. ”

She- “ How could I not read it. By the way thank you for coming here to meet me”.

Me- “It's my off day & it's just a couple of hours' ride.

So I suppose you wanted to tell me something.”

She - “Yeah, I had a lot to tell but I’ll make it short. I loved your book… it is good. But something hit me badly when I read it, I don’t know if this is the right time to tell you and I don’t know if I am gonna spoil your mood by saying this. I am sorry if I do. There was a line in your book saying that “I loved someone who never understood my love”…. That hit me hard, that made me realize how much I must have hurt you.

I have been stupid all my life, and I still am, I always loved the wrong person, I know that but that's why they say love is hard… it is. And I'm sorry for all the pain I gave you.”

Me- “ So what you wanted to tell me was that you're sorry!?” 

She- “ Yes I know it's stupid of me to make you come all this way to tell this.”

Me- “You said you had a lot to tell right if you don’t mind, and if you have time, please tell it. I might, at least, find something soothing in it rather than just a sorry.

I don’t want to remember one of the best stories of my life ending with a SORRY. 

Just a wish that’s all”.

She- “I had a lot to tell at that moment, now I'm short of words. I have so many flaws. I remember you telling me that whoever gets me will be very lucky but believe me he’s not. I have understood that I can give only pain to others that's why people don’t stay in my life and even without loving you back I have hurt you. I feel so bad at times and I used to think why I was made this way but there must be some reason why I was born. I am sure that you will get a very good partner who understands you, loves you, and never hurt you because you deserve that. You have a loving heart.”

Me- “Yeah yeah. Enough with the sweet consoling comments. Can I ask you something?

In a parallel universe, What if you came to know about my love, about how much you mean to me before you fell in love with another guy. What if I proposed to you back then? What will be your reply?

The last time I asked this, you told u can't reply since I didn’t actually propose to you. So please don’t say that again.

It's just a stupid question, from a parallel universe. It might not mean much to you. 

But it probably means the whole world to someone else in a parallel universe.”

She- “A hypothetical question deserves a hypothetical answer. I wouldn’t let go of someone who loves me like you”

THE END

Writer - Dr. Yeswanth S Nambiar